Prowling and Playing!

Last Saturday, the Phoenix Zoo was open in the evening for an event they call Prowl & Play.  Most, but not all, of the animals are out, they open their two water areas--in a feeble attempt at keeping cool--and Radio Disney provides music and karoke for the kids.  When I saw this advertised, I knew instantly we needed to make the trip.  Miles loves animals and water so there was no question in my mind that he would have a good time, and we did!

We started with giraffes and then saw a lion, some rhinocerous-es (what's the plural of rhinocerous?), a camel, some otters, and Miles was super excited to see some flamingos and the zebra!

 We ended our evening at the splash pad.  Miles approached the splash pad with some apprehension at first, but was quickly undressing himself in preparation for participation.  I brought his swim trunks, but he wasn't interested.  He slipped off his shoes, took off his shirt and ventured in!  Fortunately, I also brought with a towel and a change of clothes so when he was done playing, we did a quick switcheroo and were on our way!

We also got to participate in a toddler drum circle!  I can't remember which organization had brought the drums, but it was awesome!  They maintained a beat and encouraged the children to try to match the same beat.  Miles just banged on different drums and watched the show, but he seemed to really enjoy it!

Laying It All Out

It's been about 100 years since I last blogged. Okay, maybe not 100 years, but it sure feels like forever! I had such fabulous intentions for blogging--a place to keep memories, a way to keep in touch with those far away, and I genuinely enjoy writing. Writing is cathartic for me. Always has been. I have kept a journal/diary since I was in junior high school. I have volumes upon volumes of notebooks from that time. And I still keep a journal, but I am not the regular writer that I once was. When times get tough for me, though, a return to writing always helps me feel better--it's the same feeling I get after a good cry; it's a release.

So I guess it's the need for release that has brought me back to blogging. Today is August 11. Three years ago, my father passed away with my mother at his side. Although I was in Arizona, I will never forget that day and the following days. I still miss him. And I am often sad that Miles will never get to know him. Yeah, we'll talk about Grandpa to Miles, but pictures and talking just isn't the same as having the person live in the flesh. Plus, anyone who knew my dad knows he was a total jokster. His favorite hobbies included fishing, golfing, and picking on the nearest little kid. It gave him great joy! No matter what we do, we cannot replace that for Miles.

I'm sure heaven is a great place, but I refuse to believe that he would rather be in heaven than down here on earth getting to know his grandson.

So there's that. I've been sad for a week or two now and that has a lot to do with it.

I'm also sad for another reason. Miles turned 2 in May and he's AMAZING in every way. He says please (peese) and thank you (anku) and excuse me (koome). And he names colors and is constantly asking, "Mommy, whatareyoudoing?" He loves, loves, loves swimming! He enjoys swinging, playing basketball, reading books, and building with his blocks. He is totally into Yo Gabba Gabba and Elmo. And Patrick and I want another child just like him! We've been wanting to have another baby for a long time; we've been trying for over a year and it's just not happening.

I'm frustrated and sad that we haven't been able to have another child. I haven't wanted to share this with anyone--I suppose I feel inadequate--and I am super tired of folks asking when we're going to have another one. I don't know how to answer that question anymore. Do I go into the details of my frustration? No, I just keep it all bottled up inside along with the stress I'm feeling from Patrick's new job and all of the life adjustments that must come as a result.

So there it is. See? Getting out it does provide me with relief. I don't need anyone to read this--and I'm sure no one will since it's been forever that I have used this blog. But I have at least temporary relief.